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🔞 Untamed Desire - The Second Chapter
In which the first date, the first kiss, and the first fuck might happen
‘I love sex,’ Kwame said to me, his rich, satisfying voice uncovering my thirst for something I was yet to admit.
It had been a couple of weeks of daily contact.
We had talked on the phone every single day and texted back and forth so frequently that it had become a habit.
‘But it’s not just sex you know, it’s the combining of souls, the gift of sharing and enjoying one another with pure intent. But I also want to be able to enjoy many people without feeling like I am hurting someone.’
‘Enjoy many people? Do you mean many relationships? At the same time?’ The man had my attention.
‘Well, when you put it like that it makes me sound selfish doesn’t it?’
‘Hmm, maybe not. It’s what you want, I guess you should be allowed to have what you want, especially if you are with someone who wants what you want with you.’
‘Now that’s the problem I have had for a long time. Most women just don’t understand me.’
I wondered if he had mentally placed me in the category of most women, or if he thought I belonged to the tiny group of women who were willing to accept his sexual needs.
I belonged to the former group, the one that craved monogamy, a sense of harmony, and trust in their partner. Why would I want to date many people? Why can’t I have a world where I wanted one person and one person wanted me back in the same measure or even more?
‘Polyamory,’ he said, breathing the word into the phone as though he were tired of saying it. It was my first time hearing the word ‘poly’. I had a sense that it had to do with multiple partners. Okay, nice. Not my thing. At least not right now.
‘Right!’ I said, hoping he’d explain himself and give me more context. He did not disappoint.
‘I can love one woman, and easily love another woman without feeling any less love for the first one.’
‘You think I’m weird now, don’t you? Is that judgment I hear in your voice?’
‘No Kwame, I’m listening to you. Trying to understand you.’
‘Well, yeah, and it could be three or even five women, it’s how I am and I cannot change that. I want to find someone who feels the same and even has fun with me in that way.’
Well, not me.
With each passing day and every conversation, I was torn between wanting to pursue something serious with the man or leaving him right where I found him.
He intrigued me.
At the same time, the flags flying above us had been painted red more than a couple of times.
Just have fun. See where it goes. Not every man you meet is relationship material.
The voice in my head would not stop nudging, advising, and talking shit.
We had spoken about so much in such a short time, but when we talked about business, he sparked the flames of my interest.
I felt his energy shift and rise every time we talked about his work. There was always a fiery passion to his tone.
‘You know what I really love above everything?’ he asked one afternoon as our phone call dragged into the hour.
‘Execution. I love putting a team together and leading them to execute a set project. I don’t like talking and talking about things when we can get to work.’
The passion had seized him again, lacing his voice with an unmistakable note of authority. It was the kind of clear certainty that could only come from a man who knew what he was saying.
‘If I have to get something done, I get it done.," he said. "It is too much talk-talk and no action that kills dreams. There are enough unrealized dreams buried in the graveyard. Those of us who are alive must not only dream but act now.’
If I wasn’t already falling for the man, his words got me hooked on him without effort.
I admired how he prided himself on being resourceful.
‘Just tell me whatever you need and I’ll set it all up. I know a lot of people and so many owe me favors,’ he said when I had first told him I was working on producing a new film.
‘I know so many filmmakers in Accra but there’s this one guy I believe will be perfect for the job. In fact, I am seeing him tomorrow for something completely different. Such a coincidence right?’
‘Yeah, that’s crazy.’ I said, hardly believing how quickly he was to jump at a chance to support my work. I still couldn't get over the fact that he had two children. From two different women. But the easy way with which he dished his support on a platter was irresistibly charming.
‘Do you have a working idea already or are you open to sharing ideas with my guys? They are very good, I’m telling you.’
‘I do have the whole film mapped out already, yes, but I really don’t mind collaborating with people.’
‘Oh you know you are Miss Independent, I have to ask,’ he said and laughed. I clasped the phone a little too tightly against my ears and enjoyed as his laugh went through my ear in waves.
‘So what do you have in mind then?’ He asked, pausing for a moment before adding, ‘It’s completely okay if you don’t want to share right now, no pressure.’
‘That’s fine Kwame. It’s not that deep. It’s not even a mega, big-budget production to be honest. I’m thinking of a really short film and the way I planned it, the main scene would be in a strip club. So right now, the main..’
‘A strip club!’ he exclaimed, cutting me off. ‘Hmm, I know the owner of the biggest strip club in Accra oh. I can get him on a call as soon as you are ready. I told you, I know people. I got you.’ He said it in that unmistakably proud tone, as though he was convinced he was getting my attention.
‘Well damn, you do know everyone don’t you know?’ I said, patting his ego.
‘Yes I sure do babe, stop playing with me. We can go take a look at the strip club tonight if you want.’
‘Tonight?’ I could hardly believe he had just suggested that. At some point, we were going to have to move our communication from the phone to in-person anyway but it just hadn’t come up yet.
‘You mean tonight? Like today?’ I asked, unable to conceal the anxiety that had begun to creep up on me.
‘For sure. I mean if you don’t have major plans later this evening.’ He paused, then continued, ‘Today is Wednesday and it’s usually one of their best days so it might be a good idea to see what the place looks like for a film,’ he said.
‘Hmm, I see what you mean.’
‘Well fuck it, I do want to see you too you know? Would be nice overall I think.’
I wanted to tell him that I couldn’t wait to see him too, that I had thought about him every day since we began to speak, that I was desperate to meet and find out if this connection we already had over the phone would translate into real life.
‘Yeah, that would be awesome. I definitely would want to see if this strip club works for the film. At least we would know if we have the location on lock.’ I said.
‘Good! So I’ll see you tonight? Pick you up at 10 PM?’
My hand gripped the phone tighter till I could feel the heat on my skin. A rush of teenage excitement ran a hurried course through my veins. An untamed desire was already budding in the gap of my thighs and I could no longer lie to myself.
I was going to be a nuisance with this man and I knew it.
‘Damn. Just like that?’ I said.
‘Yes babe, just like that.’
That night when he pulled up to the gate of my apartment at exactly 10 PM, I was scrambling to organize myself and get ready.
‘You are here? Wow. Give me a moment I’ll be right with you,’ I said quickly into the phone when he called to announce his arrival.
My heart began pounding inside my chest, my cheeks were flushed and my hands would not keep steady as I struggled to run mascara through my lashes.
He was here? Already?
It had been six days of talking on the phone multiple times a day and now I get to see the man. I imagined all sorts of scenarios. Maybe I wouldn’t like him in person after all. Or he’d have horrible stinking breath and I wouldn't be able to live out my kissing fantasies with him. I doubted that.
I hurried through my apartment, slamming doors, putting my bed together, and getting into the tight-fitting dress I had picked out. I was dashing from room to room, flailing my arms this way and that in total confusion.
It took me all of five minutes, but when I finally slid into the passenger side of the car and sat beside him, my heart burst and all the excitement I had been feeling came pouring out of me.
His wide searching eyes met mine and I held his gaze for only about a second before I began to laugh uncontrollably.
I still do not know what came over me. I sat in the car and began to laugh and laugh till my belly ached and my cheeks hurt.
One look at Kwame and my heart said yes.
Yes? You must be very foolish. What is your problem right now?
I mentally said yes to giving this man a pass, to allowing myself to be free, to getting that kiss I had daydreamed about. Yes to all of it and whatever else was to come.
There was a strong energy in the space between us in the car that night and it smelled of passion, untamed desire, and rough barbaric sex.
What is your problem? Do you have any self-control at all?
‘Let me know when you're done laughing,’ he said, keeping his eyes on me as a boyish smile played on his lips.
Just as perfect as they were in his photos. I immediately began to wonder if this first night would be appropriate to kiss them, to taste the intensity that I knew for sure was lined on his tongue.
‘I’m done, I'm done, I’m sorry,’ I said and burst out laughing again. ‘Wow. I can’t believe this. This is so crazy. You are fucking crazy.’
‘I don’t know what’s got you laughing like that but I definitely like the sound of it. Plus you look really good,’ he said, his eyes on me, searching, maybe plotting.
I paused and inhaled a big gust of air. ‘Yeah? Thank you. It’s good to see you. Finally.’
‘Good. So, you are done laughing abi? Can we go now?’
‘Yes,’ I chuckled, ‘We can go now.’
‘I knew you were crazy but this proved that,’ he said with a smile.
And with that, he put the gear in drive and we sped into the night, headed to the strip club, headed to whatever was awaiting us out there in the world.
Now as I look back, I wish I had seen it coming. I wish so desperately that I had guarded myself, and watched my steps.
Life doesn’t prepare you enough for these things.
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